im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to
no matter what song
ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour
IT’S THE POST
I decided my college major over the course of about 30 seconds but I absolutely MUST explore my innermost psyche to correctly answer obscure tumblr polls because I NEED my ANONYMOUS response to be AS ACCURATE AS POSSIBLE
Guys do centaurs have to eat both horse food and human food?
Centaur, eating out of a burlap sack of hay like it’s potato chips: So do you guys wanna get Chipotle later?
Centaur: *kneeling on the ground, ripping up bits of grass and eating it*
Nearby horse: *neighs*
Centaur: Well it’s easy for you to bend over, isn’t it?
Horse: *snorts*
Centaur: *through a mouthful of grass* Well goody goody for you, but some of us have two spines.
Human: Hey does somebody want the rest of my burger?
Centaur: Oh I’ll have it. I am starving.
Human: Didn’t you just eat like an entire barrel of hay?
Centaur: *snatches the burger* That was for the horse stomach not the human one. Don’t be racist, Carl.
DON’T BE RACIST CARL
That spine comment made me reevaluate my life
Two spines, two ribcages, and six limbs baby! And a tail! Four shoulders!
This picture makes my intellectual half happy but also causes me great pain
is your intellectual half the horse half or the human half
Head, Abdomen, Thorax.
6 limbs.
Insect.
That last comment hit me so hard I felt like Plato when Diogenes plopped a plucked chicken down and declared it a man
Filed under: things I have wondered about my whole life and now make perfect sense.
Fun fact in Florida there’s a skeleton museum and they take skeleton donations, which occasionally results in them having extra skeletons floating around, and they felt that one of the best uses of a spare human and spare horse skeleton would be this extremely painful looking centaur.
Yeah but on which half do the genitals go?
That skeleton is actually what made me consider this and decide that logically, there should actually be two sets of genitals. Most centaur skeletal structures you see are like the two above – they paste a human torso on a beheaded horse, so you’ve got one set of hips (horse) and two sets of shoulders (horse and human). I think the more logical structure is to give the centaur two sets of hips (one horse, one human).
What you want is essentially a faun – a biped with a human torso terminating into a hooved bottom at the waist, but in this case horse instead of goat. The “horse” spine attaches at the pelvis of the faun, where normally it would have a tail, and the horse ribcage sits behind the faun’s pelvis, with musculature connecting the horse torso to the faun’s legs.
This solves some other problems too, because you can then basically turn the horse body into a massive digestion machine, which explains why centaurs eat so much, or you can move a lot of organs down into the horse to make room for a massive heart and lungs that would allow a human-sized torso to power a horse-sized animal.
And presumably fauns have genitals somewhere down there, and the back end of a horse generally does, and having two sets would definitely explain why centaurs are generally portrayed in classical mythology as Just The Horniest.
Why yes I have put perhaps too much thought into this, but I’ve been indoors for seven months.
Centaur, greeting their humanoid friend with affectionate insults: What’s up, front-nuts?
Do any of you know how much grief this post has caused me over the years
There needs to be way, way more of a conversation about how being unable to drive in America means you don’t get to participate in society. That shit is genuinely life ruining. My neuro shit has kept me from driving my whole life and it’s always meant I can’t go do stuff I want to, I can’t get the trade jobs I know I’d be good at, I can’t even see the people I want to. Unless you’re in one of a handful of major cities in the US with decent transit systems, you’re basically expected to drop dead if you can’t drive.
Nebraska Democratic state Sen. Megan Hunt vowed to filibuster every bill for the rest of the legislative session after the Nebraska Legislature advanced a bill that would ban gender-affirming care for people under 19.
The legislation, sponsored by Republican state Sen. Kathleen Kauth, would ban minors from seeking gender confirmation surgery and hormone treatments — issues that could impact Hunt’s transgender son. She discussed her son and his testimony in committee on Wednesday and to the wider body the next day.
“My son is trans,” Hunt said of her 12-year-old child, who she says has been unable to attain gender-affirming care. “And this bill, colleagues, is such an affront to me personally and would violate my rights to parent my child in Nebraska.”
The bill is one of many anti-trans policies rolled out this year, according to Trans Legislation Tracker.
“We have made it clear that this is the line in the sand,” Hunt said to lawmakers on Thursday.
“People have said, ‘What if we go after your bills? What if we put a bunch of bills introduced by progressives up on the agenda? Are you going to filibuster those, too?’ Yes, because we’re not like you,” Hunt explained. “We have a principle and a value that actually matters that much to us that we’re willing to stand up for.”
Hunt was scolded over her stance by Republicans, who said her pushback set a bad precedent.
“You really don’t get it,” Hunt said to Republican state Sen. R. Brad von Gillern. “You’ve crossed a line and you’ve gone too far.”
“Don’t say hi to me in the hall, don’t ask me how my weekend was, don’t walk by my desk and ask me anything. Don’t send me Christmas cards ― take me off the list,” Hunt warned. “No one in the world holds a grudge like me, and no one in the world cares less about being petty than me. I don’t care. I don’t like you.”
“This hateful bill is not about policy. It is a basic human rights issue. The vote today will show us exactly which senators value the dignity, autonomy, and personhood of Nebraskans,” Hunt added on Twitter. “Do not cross this line. Do not violate our rights”
Hunt joins Democratic state Sen. Machaela Cavanaugh in her promise to filibuster the remainder of the legislature’s 90-day session, which ends on June 9.
“I will burn the session to the ground over this bill,” Cavanaugh warned.
happy PRIDE i’m here i’m queer and i believe the land should be given back to the proper indigenous stewards.
Non-Natives reblogging this are great and wonderful
Please remember that "land back" does not mean "indigenous people are mystical elves with innate epigenetic wisdom of land stewardship and they don't belong in big cities," nor does it mean "non-indigenous people can't be farmers."
What it DOES mean is that "non-indigenous farmers should be paying the equivalent of property taxes to the native governments their land was stolen from."
It means, "there's a great deal of indigenous scholarship on sustainable agricultural practices that farmers should be taking into account, because indigenous agriculture was more advanced than European agriculture at the time Europe invaded the Americas and western agriculture *still* hasn't caught up in terms of figuring out how to produce equivalently high crop yields without compromising the ecosystem."
It means, "non-indigenous farmers should be in an intellectual discourse with indigenous agricultural scientists and indigenous peoples that still do traditional farming, figuring how to repair the damage western farming practices have done to the ecosystem."
It also means that indigenous peoples should regain the right to sustain themselves on the land according to the practices they want, and they should have free reign to perform their cultural practices and protect their holy sites, as opposed to the current model where if they try to honor their dead on public lands they get violently removed.
So there’s this huge dudebro in my class, who, yesterday, sat next to me. And I’m sitting there sweating because like… I’m wearing my shirt with the lesbian flag on it, and he’s the most popular jock in school, and always has this look on his face that say ‘I can and will kill you’. He looks me up and down, stares at me for a minute and then goes, “So. Girls in skirts and long socks, am I right?”
To which I nodded solemnly, both out of agreement, surprise and also a healthy amount of awkward fear. He nodded and went, “You get it.”
I said, “Yep.” He fistbumped me, and on went our lives.
Oh! I forgot to mention! I saw him at lunch the same day, and he ran up to me, tapped me on the shoulder, pointed at this super sweet girl who comes to GSA and asked if she’s gay. I told him he should ask her because that’s not my place and he said he would.
I thought that would be the end of it.
Except ten minutes later he came back and told me he found out (she’s bi) and that both of us have a shot. I said “You more than me.” because he’s attractive and popular.
But this wholesome dumbass looked really confused and asked, “Because I’m tall?’
So this isn’t lesbian/jock solidarity but I thought you guys would want to know-
My math teacher was trying to fix the rolling whiteboard and he just offhand said “This would be easier with a wrench”
And deadass, dudebro said “Hang on” and then proceeded to pull a fucking wrench out of his backpack
Update- after school today he saw me in the library and he didn’t say anything? He just pointed at the book he was holding and I gave him a thumbs up because it’s a pretty good book, and he went “Yes!” Really quiet and pumped his fist and then left
Okay so today he asked me if I know how to help people having a panic attack and I was like yeah? And he smiled at me and then went “cool I think I’m having one”
And I was like what the fuck Colin we’re in the middle of Tech class sit down and we went out in the hall and sat there for a while and he told me about the test he’s stressed about so we kind of went over his study guide and when he was feeling better he kind of like… smacked his head against mine gently? And I helped him up even though he’s almost a foot taller than me and yeah
Today at lunch we walked to the football field and laid in the grass and I told him thank you for being my friend (because I don’t have that many) and fistbumped me and said, “You always looked so nice and chill, how could I not want to be your friend?”
And honestly y’all, I would’ve started crying if he hadn’t sneezed and accidentally smacked me
thems-the-spells
greyhound-with-a-mega-wizard-hat
do other trans men also have the problem of just accumulating makeup and jewlery and ur like oh pretty and then u get home and look in the mirror and remember you haven’t done that in like forever and don’t dress up like that anymore. gotta make some time to be pretty in my life ig..
